Boundaries

My loves! Peace and the love of Christ to you all ❤️

God has really stretched me for this post. I have been called to write it for some time now but it’s an area I struggle with at the highest level. So I was really asking God how would I be able to encourage people in an area I struggle with? How does someone who is always available to everyone create healthy boundaries ?

When I think about boundaries I immediately think about the fact that – to create a boundary that would involve me saying the word NO.

I had to realize that saying “no” didn’t make me a horrible person. After all when we were two / three it did become one of our favourite words. So how come when we became teenagers- adults we became afraid to use the word? Then I found this post from Grace Byers a while back:

The first time I said “No I don’t think I will be able to commit to that” or

“ No, I am not going to that event” or “No, I’m not available” – I. Freaked. Out. Why? Because I felt this authority that I’ve never felt before. You see I used to say no and follow up with an explanation. Are we really obligated to explain everything to everyone? That’s when boundaries are crossed. That’s when persons feel like they some what own a part of your life and your space.

I thought over and over I would disappoint people….but here’s the reality, I’m not superwoman and I needed to protect my space. I have my own things to deal with and in order to deal with them … I had to make time for myself! Right??

The more I grow in Jesus Christ , I realize that I can’t say yes to everything. Sometimes it will just have to be no. I have to be Spirit led with my no and stand by it. Not fall into the pressure trap or guilt cycle.

I struggled with this because I used to be a people pleaser. I love to help and people knew this. I can sit and listen to friends or family for hours only to offer the best advise I could. I love to plan and help out with everything and eventually this girl right here GOT TIRED. Sooooo I had to create a boundary for myself.

I also had to ask myself is my life centered around God? Or centred around pleasing people?

Have to allow people to cultivate their own relationship with Christ?

Everyone is responsible for their own lives and own salvation. I can’t make people grow fruit. I can’t work out someone else’s salvation

Philippians 2:12 says:

“Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.”

If your constantly busy with everyone else how do you make time for God? How do you find the time to study the Bible if you’re busy studying someone’s life?

How can the Holy spirit use you if you’re consistently exhausted?

Too exhausted to think? Or too exhausted to hear his voice? Or even too exhausted to simply feel His presence?

Was I constantly entertaining things pulling me away from Christ? ( including people, tv, music and things)

Once I created boundaries, I was set free. I actually had time to think and understand. I was able to grow my relationship with Jesus.

Now, with my healthy boundary I was able to have:

  1. A greater understanding of my Creator and source
  2. A greater understanding of self-love
  3. A greater understanding of my PURPOSE
  4. A greater understanding of self- acceptance and the importance of self-awareness and growth
  5. A greater understanding of true, unconditional love
  6. A greater understanding of the importance of family and friendships
  7. A greater understanding of letting go of thing that no longer serve or honour my purpose
  8. A greater understanding of my portion and sharing my blessings

I no longer conform to the “truths” of this world but to the truths of my Source.

Creating boundaries has made me free from the bondage of my past.

Don’t get me wrong. We are here to love and help each other as brothers and sisters in Christ…..but chose your battles and create healthy boundaries.

It simply allows you to B R E A T H E

Learn to be confident in your no. Ask the Holy Spirit about your yes.

What are some healthy God- led boundaries you create? Would love to hear from you!

lots of love,

The Graced Citizen ❤️

Psalm 62, My victory comes from the Lord! 

“I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. So many enemies against one man— all of them trying to kill me. To them I’m just a broken-down wall or a tottering fence. They plan to topple me from my high position. They delight in telling lies about me. They praise me to my face but curse me in their hearts. Interlude Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge. Interlude Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind, and the powerful are not what they appear to be. If you weigh them on the scales, together they are lighter than a breath of air. Don’t make your living by extortion or put your hope in stealing. And if your wealth increases, don’t make it the center of your life. God has spoken plainly, and I have heard it many times: Power, O God, belongs to you; unfailing love, O Lord, is yours. Surely you repay all people according to what they have done.”‭‭

I just love this Psalm so much!

Read and meditate.

lots of love,

The Graced Citizen

Short Faith Reminder

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real

FAITH = Forsaking All I Trust Him

“For we live by faith, not by sight.”

2 Corinthians 5:7

When you walk with Jesus – your faith will be tested. The enemy will try to derail the plans God has for you. The enemy can’t destroy you so he will distract you by placing fear in your mind and sight.

Luke 10:19 says: “Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.”

Activate your God given authority and armor up.

FAITH is not hoping that God can….. but know that He WILL. I know this is something we all struggle with individually at least one point or some points in our lives but we must remember WHO we are and WHOSe we are.

Walk consistently in His victory! The enemy wants you to do otherwise. Rebuke him and be faithful to Jesus. Faith moves mountains.

He never fails you yet…. never will.

lots of love,

The Graced Citizen

Everything Has it’s Time

Ecclesiastes 3 (NKJV)

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill,

And a time to heal;

A time to break down,

And a time to build up;

A time to weep,

And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,

And a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace,

And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain,

And a time to lose;

A time to keep,

And a time to throw away;

A time to tear,

And a time to sew;

A time to keep silence,

And a time to speak;

A time to love,

And a time to hate;

A time of war,

And a time of peace.