My loves! Peace and the love of Christ to you all ❤️

God has really stretched me for this post. I have been called to write it for some time now but it’s an area I struggle with at the highest level. So I was really asking God how would I be able to encourage people in an area I struggle with? How does someone who is always available to everyone create healthy boundaries ?

When I think about boundaries I immediately think about the fact that – to create a boundary that would involve me saying the word NO.

I had to realize that saying “no” didn’t make me a horrible person. After all when we were two / three it did become one of our favourite words. So how come when we became teenagers- adults we became afraid to use the word? Then I found this post from Grace Byers a while back:

The first time I said “No I don’t think I will be able to commit to that” or

“ No, I am not going to that event” or “No, I’m not available” – I. Freaked. Out. Why? Because I felt this authority that I’ve never felt before. You see I used to say no and follow up with an explanation. Are we really obligated to explain everything to everyone? That’s when boundaries are crossed. That’s when persons feel like they some what own a part of your life and your space.

I thought over and over I would disappoint people….but here’s the reality, I’m not superwoman and I needed to protect my space. I have my own things to deal with and in order to deal with them … I had to make time for myself! Right??

The more I grow in Jesus Christ , I realize that I can’t say yes to everything. Sometimes it will just have to be no. I have to be Spirit led with my no and stand by it. Not fall into the pressure trap or guilt cycle.

I struggled with this because I used to be a people pleaser. I love to help and people knew this. I can sit and listen to friends or family for hours only to offer the best advise I could. I love to plan and help out with everything and eventually this girl right here GOT TIRED. Sooooo I had to create a boundary for myself.

I also had to ask myself is my life centered around God? Or centred around pleasing people?

Have to allow people to cultivate their own relationship with Christ?

Everyone is responsible for their own lives and own salvation. I can’t make people grow fruit. I can’t work out someone else’s salvation

Philippians 2:12 says:

“Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear.”

If your constantly busy with everyone else how do you make time for God? How do you find the time to study the Bible if you’re busy studying someone’s life?

How can the Holy spirit use you if you’re consistently exhausted?

Too exhausted to think? Or too exhausted to hear his voice? Or even too exhausted to simply feel His presence?

Was I constantly entertaining things pulling me away from Christ? ( including people, tv, music and things)

Once I created boundaries, I was set free. I actually had time to think and understand. I was able to grow my relationship with Jesus.

Now, with my healthy boundary I was able to have:

  1. A greater understanding of my Creator and source
  2. A greater understanding of self-love
  3. A greater understanding of my PURPOSE
  4. A greater understanding of self- acceptance and the importance of self-awareness and growth
  5. A greater understanding of true, unconditional love
  6. A greater understanding of the importance of family and friendships
  7. A greater understanding of letting go of thing that no longer serve or honour my purpose
  8. A greater understanding of my portion and sharing my blessings

I no longer conform to the “truths” of this world but to the truths of my Source.

Creating boundaries has made me free from the bondage of my past.

Don’t get me wrong. We are here to love and help each other as brothers and sisters in Christ…..but chose your battles and create healthy boundaries.

It simply allows you to B R E A T H E

Learn to be confident in your no. Ask the Holy Spirit about your yes.

What are some healthy God- led boundaries you create? Would love to hear from you!

lots of love,

The Graced Citizen ❤️

12 Comments Add yours

  1. Lindsay Law Mitchell says:

    I needed this today! thank you very much

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Welcome baby sister ❤️


  2. arisjade says:

    This is so, so, so on point! I was writing a draft about boundaries just yesterday and your words completely affirmed everything I was feeling. It’s not selfish to make clear definitions and limitations on how people can and can not interact with us. Being Spirit led truly is key and I love how you addressed that. This spoke to me! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙌🏽Praise the Lord! I love how the Holy Spirit moves. How cool is that you drafted a boundaries post too I can’t wait to read it!!! I’m so happy this blessed you ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great word sis! I use to struggle with saying no as well….then I got tired of being called selfish for the one time I said no but being taken for granted the 10,000 times I said yes. I had to learn the word no keeps others from taking advantage and no we shouldn’t have to explain why our no is a no. We don’t have to explain when we say yes do we?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amén! Being called selfish isn’t cool after always giving! What I do now i pay attention to happens when I stop giving? Do they get upset? Who acts weird when I say no I can’t, no I’m not coming, no I can’t this time. Those people aren’t necessarily for me but what I can do for them or only love the way I make them feel vs unconditionally loving me. It shouldn’t be a struggle or an explanation. Life is so much more relaxing!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. When you get a chance read my overcame blog. It’s my most personal blog ye. It also gave me the strength to clean house this past year of my life. Any one who acted a fool when I said no had to go.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Didn’t I read it? I thought I did but I’m gonna check it out regardless ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m not sure. It’s the last blog I did so I’m not sure if you got around to it. Honestly, with that one it’s hard for me to go back and read it. I respond to the comments but I generally stay off it.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Just read it! And commented. It’s amazing thank you for sharing the hardest post are usually the best post! Healing comes forth

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Thank you..all I know is that God asked me to write it. So he must have a purpose behind it.

        Liked by 1 person

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